第十单元 ： 社交向度的转化
1. 社交向度的必然性，和充裕圈
i。人类都需要关系，彼此相依，互动，共存。
THE NATURAL CONDITION OF life for human beings is one of reciprocal rootedness in others. As firmness of footing is a condition of walking and secure movement, so assurance of others being for us is the condition of stable, healthy living. (253页、1段 ).
ii。这种互动和相依的条件下，在人的心理上（心灵里）形成了“充裕圈” “circles of sufficiency”的依附。如果，只有靠人为和相信人文社会提供的充裕圈，将会是一种幻觉而已。 因为这世界所提供的充裕圈，只会让我们失望。
These circles of sufficiency, natural and essential to the human condition and so profoundly beautiful to behold, are always illusory at the merely human level, and even the illusion itself is terrifyingly fragile. (254页、3段).
iii。人类有“充裕圈”的需要，是指向神，要我们回归到与神的关系；也只有回到“自有永有”的三一神，才能真正衔接到最真实的充裕圈，一切能在这充裕圈里得着医治。
every human circle is doomed to dissolution if it is not caught up in the life of the only genuinely self-sufficient circle of sufficiency, that of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. For that circle is the only one that is truly and totally self-sufficient. And all the broken circles must ultimately find their healing there, if anywhere.(254页、5段).
2. 人类经历被弃绝的残酷事实，破坏了充裕圈，和人与人的关系
i。不管在儿时或在成年时，遭遇被弃绝的经历，破坏了我们的充裕圈，这些创伤接着滋生了种种人与自己、人与人关系的问题
All of these break up our human circles of sufficiency. They may leave us unconnected to others at levels of our soul where lack of nourishment from deep connections with others means spiritual starvation and loss of wholeness in our every dimension. (256页、1段).
ii. 人际关系中两种基本邪恶表现、 -
（1） 缺乏爱的：攻击，
（2）缺乏与他人有恰当关系的：疏离
They are so closely related that they really are two forms of the same thing: of lovelessness, lack of proper regard and care for others. These two forms are assault or attack and withdrawal or “distancing.” (256页、3段).
iii。 攻击的表现
We act against what is good for them, even with their consent. It is not only when we harm them or cause them pain against their conscious will. (257页、2段).
iv。疏离的表现
withdraw from someone when we regard their well-being and goodness as matters of indifference to us, or perhaps go so far as to despise them. We “don’t care.” (257页、3段).
v。攻击和疏离主要涉及到我们与身边人的关系，我们在日常生活中所做的一切都会对他们造成影响。这包括我们家人、和我们关系密切的人，一起工作、一起游戏，以及有共同利益，同属一个群体的人。 (257页、4段).
3. 我们爱，因为神先爱我们
i。属灵塑造不能独善其身，必然涉及社交向度
SPIRITUAL FORMATION, GOOD or bad, is always profoundly social. You cannot keep it to yourself. Anyone who thinks of it as a merely private matter has misunderstood it. (258页、3段).
For all that is between me and God affects who I am; and that, in turn, modifies my relationship to everyone around me. My relationship to others also modifies me and deeply affects my relationship to God. Hence those relationships must be transformed if I am to be transformed.(258页、3段).
ii。爱从神而来，是不可动摇的充裕圈
Love comes to us from God. That must be our unshakable circle of sufficiency. Our purpose must then be to become one who loves others with Christ’s agape. That purpose, when developed, will transform the social dimension of the human self and all of our relationships to others. Love is not a feeling, or a special way of feeling, but the divine way of relating to others and oneself that moves through every dimension of our being and restructures our world for good. (259页、3段).
iii。神就是爱 （自有永有，爱的团契）
God is in himself a sweet society of love, with a first, second, and third person to complete a social matrix where not only is there love and being loved, but also shared love for another, the third person. Community is formed not by mere love and requited love, which by itself is exclusive, but by shared love for another, which is inclusive. (261页、2段).
iv。以下这个段话，要重复读才可以知道它要表达的意义 ：我们与他人的关系能“彼此共处，牺牲”，都需要有第三者，而祂就是神。 人类只有在神里面，才能真正“在一起”。
The secret of all life-giving relation to others, and of all that is social, lies in the fact that the primary other for a human being, whether he wants it or not, is always God. (262页、1段).
“How can one love self without being selfish? How can one love others without losing self? The answer is : By loving both self ad neighbour in God. It is His Love that makes us love both self and neighbour rightly” - Fulton Sheen, 《Three to Get Married》
v。要在社交向度的灵命塑造过程中尽上本分，我们得深入了解人际关系的过错（攻击和疏离），以及如何改变这种表现。
we must deeply identify and understand what is wrong in our relations with others (whether that wrong is coming from us or toward us) and how it can be changed. Thus we have spoken of assault and withdrawal. （265页、3段）
vi。婚姻
（1）我们不懂的如何进入婚姻关系。
problem is not divorce— though divorce generates a set of problems all its own. The problem is that people don’t know how to be married. （270页、2段）
（2）婚姻变成了市场经营手法
What, then, does devotion to another mean when one or both parties are constantly shopping for “a better deal” or constantly appraising one another in the light of convenient alternatives? Withdrawal, rejection, and assault will naturally become a constant factor in the most intimate of human relations. （271页、3段）
（3）真正的婚姻是把自己献给对方
To be married is to give oneself to another person in the most intimate and inclusive of human relationships, to support him or her for good in every way possible— physically, emotionally, and spiritually （270页，3段）
（4）婚姻家庭是付出生命
This home is as much or more the man’s responsibility as the woman’s, for it is the man’s role to make it possible for the woman to do what she alone can do for the child— and for him. And for her part, then, she is to help in making it possible for him to do what he alone can do for her and the child— and this in the midst of constant sacrificial submission on the part of each to the overall good of the other. （271页、2段）
vii。我们要对症下药，社会关系最根本要解决的问题是攻击和疏离。
Ignorance, prejudice and intolerance, far from being the primary sources of evil, draw upon the still deeper-lying soul structures of assault and withdrawal, without which they would have little effect. …Unless the sources deeper than it are effectively dealt with, education, diversity and “tolerance” will only yield another version of secular self-righteousness and legalism. （273页、4段）
viii。教会事工可以从婚姻着手，排拒攻击和疏离、暴力和冷漠。
To heal the open sore of social existence, there is no doubt we must start with the marriage relationship - or, more inclusively, with how men and women are together in our world. If that relationship is wrong in its many dimensions, all who come through it will be seriously damaged… spiritual formation and all our efforts as Christians to minister to people, must focus on this humanly most central relationship. （274页、2段）
The visible churches, congregations of apprentices to Jesus, must return to the transcendent power of Christ for which they stand. They must drain the assault and withdrawal, the attack and coldness, from the individual men and women who form families under their ministry of Jesus and his kingdom. … break up the deadly hold of assault and withdrawal over the entire social dimension of the human self. （275页、2段）
ix。作者在间接中，介绍了我们一本有关婚姻的好书《在婚姻中第三者 》（Three to get married) by Fulton Sheen 主教。 （这里的第三者是神）（275页、2段）
4. 社交向度的属灵塑造的四个要素
Four major elements in the new world of redeemed relationship :
i。在神的爱里，看自己为整全的人
First main element in the transformed social dimension is for individuals to come to see themselves whole, as God himself sees them. Such a vision sets them beyond the woulds and limitations they have received in their past relationships with others。 （276页、2段）
ii。放下一切自卫机制，从基督里的社交环境中
Second element in the spiritually transformed social dimension is abandonment of all defensiveness. This of course could occur only in a social context where Christ dwells - that is, among his special people. （277页、2段）
iii。放下掩饰造作，真诚的去爱 Genuine love predominates in our gatherings
Then all pretence would vanish from our lives. That would be the third element in the spiritually transformed social dimension of the self. (277页，5段）
vi。 扩张我们的社交层面，去祝福他人，修补和医治
The fourth element is an opening up of our broader social dimension to redemption. Not having the burden of defending and securing ourselves, and acting now from the resources of our new “life from above”, we can devote our lives to the service of others. This is the positive moment in redemption of the social side of the self. （279页、4段）
v。总结 社交向度的属灵塑造和其果效
Spiritual formation in Christ obviously requires that we increasingly be happily reconciled to living in and by the direct upholding of the hand of God. This is clearly what the entire biblical view of life calls for, and especially what Jesus himself lived and presented as the truth. Only from within this gospel outlook on life can we begin to approach the godly reformation of the self in its social world. But from within that outlook we can cease from assault and withdrawal and can extend ourselves in blessing to all whose lives we touch. （280页、3段）
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